Five Things I Learned in my First Year of Homeschooling

Oh my! The school year is over. (By the way, we will probably school year-round with a lighter summer schedule.)  Really? I didn't notice. Haha. That's normal, right? For a homeschooler? 

So, here are the highlights of the year:

1. It didn't look how I thought it would. Not for the most part anyway. And if I held on any longer to how it should look, I wouldn't do it another year. I had a planned curriculum, written out, neat and tidy, text books lined up under subjects galore, ideas and pictures in my head, blah, blah, blah. The year came and went. I forgot about the written curriculum, went by what I saw my kids needed and God's grace. The other day, looking through some stuff, I find the curriculum. Would you believe it if I told you we had covered every. Last. Textbook? Yup. Did it all. But not the way I had planned. Homeschooling is messy. Messier than I had thought.

2. School happened in the midst of life. I had a baby this year. I also had to get tested twice a week for high blood pressure for eight weeks while pregnant. The kids went with me. God knows better than I do what they need to learn. Looking back now, I recognize those moments as pivotal in my daughter learning the beginning steps of obedience.

3. My kids learned all the time. Not just during school hours. That's a scary thought. I love and hate schedules. I love that they seem so controllable and the kids find then predictable but I also hate being an automaton. So although I like them I feel the need to break them. Unfortunately, if I break them too often I feel like I'm not doing enough when sometimes I'm not required to do much at all! They're not learning just when I'm teaching, they're learning even when they're playing. I know because I get the odd question (while I'm harried and crazy making dinner! Why is it always while I'm making dinner?) that tells me something has clicked into place!

4. It doesn't take a rocket scientist but it does take energy. Tons of it. And I can't pour it all out either at the gym or in my social life or even in supposedly planning the perfect curriculum. It needs to be available for them, for teaching when they're ready to soak it in.

5. I'm the teacher and the student. This has perhaps been the hardest year spiritually speaking for me so far. God has broken my pride, bent me in ways I never thought possible. But I have seen more blessings than I can number. He has shown me His faithfulness. I have learned more patience, more mercy, more grace than I thought I could muster. I have learned how much my husband loves me. I have found out how much more my children can learn about loving each other if it is expected of them.

Today, my daughter recited Philippians 2:14 to me: "Do all things without murmurings and disputings." Yeah.That reminded me, as it does, every time I've said it to her that I'm definitely the teacher and the student. Definitely.

Our Schedule for Preschool Homeschool

A very wise woman whose name I now forget (such is the postpartum life!) once told me that I shouldn't get too attached to a schedule because as the children grow up it will change. Constantly. But you still need one, I think she added, hurriedly. Well, it's true. You still need one. So now that the baby is almost six months old and the older children are inching closer each day to (home)school age, we're desperately working on one. Or changing our old one, depending on how you choose to look at it.

What amazes me (again!) is how blessed we have been in that God cares about our family and our homeschool infinitely more than I do. And I care a lot! However, you know you hear about it all the time - "Pray about it," "He will provide," and so on. In the last three weeks or so, I've personally experienced His care in terms of the smallest things of our homeschool and especially when it came to scheduling. A few weeks ago, I met Carmon Friedrich, who has homeschooled TEN children and she directed me to reading this article. While it does not talk specifically about how to schedule the day, it did help me structure our day. Also, I'm a firm believer in training the children in household cleaning activities. And I count that as part of school, at least at this level. In that, I learned a fair bit from another speaker at a group who is currently homeschooling six children ranging in ages from preschool to high school. She talked about making chore charts. As soon as she mentioned that, I knew my kids would just love that.

So, with all that said, what do our days look like currently? Well, I really like the idea of teaching the three Rs and having everything else flow from that. So, we begin the day with chores and then read the Bible in the morning. Our chores include feeding the cat, sweeping and starting laundry. The kids help with these. I wash the breakfast dishes and then we head out if we're going to the gym. (I'm currently debating if we should continue with this since we go with my husband three times a week in the evenings anyway.) If we don't go to the gym, Bible reading time then overflows into other reading time. On those days, Bob books are great. The pre-reading books deal with shapes and sequences. We also get lots and lots of story books from the library and the children love it when I read to them. Sometimes the baby joins us on my lap. But on most days, he naps through this morning session.

Then the kids get some free time to snack or run around in the backyard and at about 11, I plan for a small craft that focuses on math, like counting. The picture you see was the kids playing math bingo. Then it's time for lunch and clean up. (And feeding the baby, who is turning into quite the fussy thing lately. Anything can set him off and then we have to listen to him complain. Loudly. Sigh. It's a good thing he's cute.)

After lunch, the baby goes down for a longer nap, so we have quiet time for an hour. I set the oven timer for this one. During quiet time, the children work on writing. At this point, it's pre-writing, so they've been coloring, tracing letter worksheets for letters and cutting. And hey, another homeschool preschool day is done! This schedule is workable, I think. It allows me time to make those necessary phone calls for dental and doctor appointments, keeps the home looking relatively clean, involves the children in housework and educates them as well. So far, so good.

A Vacation

Grandma was here! So we took a vacation from doing hands-on crafts and more dedicated school time. After some adjustment time, the kids loved hanging out with her and even made her read to them. Clearly, even though there was no formal teaching, learning was taking place because, suddenly, Hucksley is counting! He placed his trucks in a row and counted them. The day before my mother in law came for a visit, we had made a counting book together as a craft where I had them count out stickers. It was fun to see all that percolate through his head. Bombie is a little more reticent to count even though she can; I have heard her do it. She will not do anything on demand unless she is absolutely certain she can do it perfectly. My little perfectionist.

An Experiment

Last week, I tried an experiment on the kids. Everything I've been reading about homeschooling / unschooling has been making me think about motivation to learn. On this journey toward a true philosophy of education, I hope to instill that in my children, or rather, hope that I don't kill their natural curiosity and love of learning and finding out new things. I have noticed, however, that Bombie seems to do things less out of a desire to learn and more out of a need for approval. The minute doing something gets hard, she gives up. I know, I know, she's only four but this quality comes through loud and clear. She is driven by a fear of failure way more than I'd like her to be. So for one day last week, I decided to take away (mostly) all approval and / or disapproval. I did not suggest any activities or crafts, I did not stop her from doing what she wanted to pursue (as long as it wasn't potentially dangerous to herself or the others.) I wanted to see what she would do.

Answer? The results were mixed. Two things happened. One, she actually did pursue something I wouldn't have necessarily suggested in an area of potential difficulty for her (spatial reasoning) and was completely thrilled by it but, two, with the lack of response from me, the kids' behavior was quite bad. They were completely driven by just having fun. Once I had spent most of the day not expecting better behavior from them beyond just not hurting themselves or others, that set the tone for the rest of the day.

So, in the end, I think, the experiment was successful. It showed me what I needed to see. When Bombie was driven by her own motivation to put four magnets close to each other around a heart-shaped sticker without having them jump on top of each other (Talk about fine motor skills! These are strong magnets!) she worked so hard at it, continuing to try repeatedly after many failed attempts, far longer than I would have pushed her by encouraging or dissuading her. I timed her; she was working on those magnets for close to fifteen minutes straight, lips pursed, frowning determination; it was quite amazing to watch.

Conclusion: hmmm. I don't know yet. Do less with them, I think. Less is more. Pick my battles. Leave lots of time for free play but don't sidestep parenting completely. You know, the usual.

Lessons from Pigtails

As I work on refining my homeschool/unschool philosophy I realized today that whether Bombie explicitly counts with me or not she definitely CAN count. She wanted me to braid her hair this morning and so I told her to bring me some hair ties. She comes back with EXACTLY four and then she tells me two for the right side and two for the left. What was that? Division? Nice.

Nevertheless, at grocery shopping, I let them "help" me by taking turns at counting vegetables and fruit as they picked them out and bagged them. I loved that they were involved and I didn't need to tell them to stop fighting or work to keep them out of the way or strapped in the cart as I have in the past.

Against my better judgment I bought them some stuff that would be referred to as educational in a traditional sense. Okay, okay, I'll say it - I bought them flashcards. But in my defense, they picked them out and they weren't too expensive. One is a spin on the classic "Go Fish" game where the kids match upper case and lower case letters and the other has numbers and other math concepts. Bombie matched all the letters at the first go and got bored with the game immediately. Hucksley is a little too young to play with either of them so here they sit and wait. Sigh. Serves me right. I shouldn't be buying flashcards anyway. Way better to learn to count while tying pigtails!

Amidst Baby Teething...

... Bombie learnt to put a flatter, weaker magnet on stronger ones and make a spinning wheel. This was her idea and not initiated by me in any way.
... The older kids made ice cream with basic guidance from me. Bombie's motivation to master my tasks is exhilarating. "I do it!" has become the phrase of the week it seems.
... Bombie has been making squiggles on lined paper which may not look like a lot but is fantastic pre-writing practice. I  absolutely do not intend to put worksheets in front of my children until they're good and ready. A lot of research suggests that at this point the single most important thing they have to learn is hand eye coordination and fine motor skills. If we rush through this, writing (when it's time) can be a big challenge.
... Hucksley learned about trucks today, which is what he was interested in the most. And in a wonderful moment of homeschooling, I showed them, using two sheets of paper how when a cloud passes the sun it dims the light. I loved it when they reenacted what I had told them to my husband when he came home.

Library Day

After a day of house arrest we headed out to the local library today where the older kids had a chance to play on the computers again but it was busier than usual so there were a few tears from both. We played a little, read a little and then headed home for lunch.

I also picked up Thomas Sowell's book Late Talking Children which so far seems to describe Bombie pretty well. I haven't finished reading it yet but am about a quarter of the way through and it mentions how certain children just talk late and have no other developmental issues. Einstein was a late talking child as a heartening example. Bombie is definitely not talking at the level of a four year old but she's not delayed on any other milestone. So far, the book is offering me tons of hope and reassuring me that reading and talking to her and keeping her out of an institutionalized assembly line education is the best way to handle the situation.

Unschooling day (yes, another one)

We stayed home today on a self imposed time out. It's truly amazing to me how much more gets done when we decide not to do anything. See for yourself!

Counting game

We made a counting game today, although everyone is still really tired. (By the way, one thing I'm learning is to limit the number of other adults in my children's lives, but more on that later maybe. I've noticed a perceivable difference in their behavior as it relates especially to obedience when they interact with too many other adults. Perhaps it has to do with styles of relating to them. I don't know. All I know is we're going to have to stay home tomorrow and if nothing else gets done, we're going to be working on getting their behavior back under control. There hasn't been any outright rebellion but there definitely have been little rumblings and mumblings.)

The counting game was fun. And they enjoyed most of it. I wrote a number on an index card which they had to identify and then they stuck colored dots on the back which matched the number I had just written. It was number recognition, counting and fine motor skills all in one. And I found out something in the process - they recognize numbers just fine but they have no concept of counting. They do go in order but they begin at a random number. When James came home,  he went over some numbers with Bombie again which was such a blessing because she relates to him in a completely different way. But I know now what the next immediate focus has to be - counting, counting, counting. Add that to reading, reading, reading! 

Busy weekend

What a busy weekend this has been! On Friday, we headed to Barnes and Nobles to pick up a gift for my friend's daughter who turned five. I had warned the kids that they could touch things at the store as long as they didn't tear or break anything and to my amazement they were incredibly well behaved. They even put away the stuffed toys lying around when I said it was time to clean up and go. Of course I could not go to a book store and not get something for the children and myself. So I bought them a board book of nursery rhymes, another book of the story of the three pigs and bought myself a few things as well. I love that being around them makes me rediscover my own love of stories. Good stories. The kind in which you can get lost - stories about heroes and good things happening, stories about people doing the right thing and overcoming obstacles. Stories that are, sadly, not a part of current literature which seems obsessed with despondency and despair.

On Saturday, it was birthday party and sleepover (for Bombie) day. She did incredibly well and came home the next day quite tuckered out from all the fun only little girls can think of! I wasn't convinced that she wouldn't wake up scared in the middle of the night and I would have to go get her but turns out that fear was unwarranted. Besides, I completely trusted the family she was with so on some level I knew she would be fine. But I barely slept. It's all right. I think given the choice between over protection and under, I'll chose the former. I guess I'm old fashioned that way. ;)

The kids made wonderful wrapping paper with celery and carrots for the gift books. I loved how we could incorporate what they were already doing into their friend's birthday!

Today has been kind of an unschooling day. The kids need some down time to play freely and drink the lees of the fun weekend. Bombie is still runningaround with the bag of party favors she received - bracelets, plastic rings and swirly straws and when I sent them outside to play with a Frisbee, they made a birthday cake out of it. Clearly,they're not over it yet. And I'm in no hurry for them to move on. Time moves way too fast already.

Grocery Shopping and other gifts

It wasn't that long ago that I used to go grocery shopping with one kid and then two. Something about going with three scared me though and so I would wait until my husband got home from work to head out by myself. Sure, it gave me a chance to dawdle a little and actually *gasp* read labels. However, it did mean that I would have to sacrifice an evening at home. Anyone who knows me knows that my evenings are incredibly important to me and since we already spend three out of five weekday evenings at the gym another one spent grocery shopping busy isn't worth it to me. So I started taking the kids again with me. And I figured, isn't this the essence of homeschooling anyway? What's the huge advantage of looking at a picture of an artichoke over actually seeing an artichoke and learning what it's called? Who decided textbooks were the essence of learning anyway? So off we went. They learned names of vegetables, they learned to count, but more than anything else, they learned obedience and also appropriate behavior. Yeah, that dreaded s word - socialization.

The funny thing is I feel like God Himself has literally reached down to my level and reminded me again that I must homeschool. Everything had literally fallen into my lap. A case in point:when we came home, the kids asked to play with plastic Easter eggs. I let them. And then soon a fight broke out. They couldn't share! So I suggested that we divide the eggs and write their names on them to identify them. (We're writing initials currently.) I brought out a marker and to my surprise, Bombie got very excited about writing her initial on her eggs. And then Hucksley wanted to write his. So here we were LEARNING TO WRITE! And this morning, I found Hucksley sitting and writing perfect Hs all on every piece of paper he could find! Who needs a workbook? When you're a preschooler, the world's your school!

Rhyme and speech

Bombie warmed my heart early this morning by reaching - unasked - for the alphabet flash cards we had made a while ago and then identifying upper and lower case letters correctly. Hucksley joined in with her and I could really see the wheels in his head turn as he asked me the letters he couldn't quite identify.
After a quick trip to the gym and lunch, Bombie and I worked on her pronunciation while the boys napped. She seems to have trouble with her b and p but only when the sound appears in the middle of a word, not at the beginning or the end. Then we read some rhymes and threw in some more books to finish off the day. Now we're all soaking up the sun. Seriously, sixty plus degrees in the winter? Yay!

More counting and a craft

I don't know what it is about coins but the kids love them. So I figured, why not teach them to sort coins? Bombie did a much better job with quarters, nickels and pennies than I did when I was new in the U.S! (And hey, this was a great use of those baby food jars!)

Later the kids wanted to cut paper. Bombie cut some felt paper and started to say it looked like a tree. So I thought why not see this idea all the way through to the end? I made them cut little pieces out of other felt paper (they chose the color theme) and then put some glue down on the paper. They had a great time then spreading the tiny pieces all over.  Serendipitously, we also had some empty frames!
Seriously, if every day homeschooling is like this, I'm so sold!

Ah, Monday!

After the tired, sleepy weekend, (yes, we're onto week three of being sick - the latest one to fall victim to this unnamed bug is me!) Monday was reading day. Sandra Boynton is quickly becoming a favorite of Bombie's with the cartoon animals. We might just need to head out to the library again: we're going through our books pretty fast!

Library visit

The baby is on the mend! Woohoo! To celebrate our family's increasing recovery after two weeks of sickness, I took them to our local public library. They love going there. Why? Well, for one, it's the only place I will let them play games on the computer. For another, we always come back with a nice stack of books we read over the next week or two. Books for them and books for me! (Mostly about them and raising them right, but that's okay.)

Planes!

Is been two weeks now that someone in the home has been sick. Carver has been the latest one in phase two of the sickness currently with a constant runny nose and elevated temperature. Needless to say we're spending a lot of time indoors.
Today we read about the Wright brothers and then made paper planes.
In addition the current battle with the older kids is to get them to put their toys away when they're done playing with them. It's a tough one but they're learning. Slowly. After all, it's taken me thirty four years! ;)

Homemade playdough

I've never tried making it myself. But we did today! So fun. Food coloring and glitter made it even more exciting for the kids. So much so that quiet time today really is quiet!

Sorting beans

The older kids sorted beans today and did a pretty good job too! Carver is sick as you can see in the background. Bombie took all of fifteen minutes to sort Lima and Pinto beans into baby food jars. Hucksley had a slightly harder time and I had to help him toward the end because he got a little frustrated.