Thursday, December 1, 2011

Random Musing

My husband and I have a silly game we play with each other. I don't really remember how it got started except that he started it. It goes something like this: any time I complain about something I don't like about what he's doing, he says, "Yeah, you're husband's a jerk/insert-expletive-I-refuse-to-use. Why did you marry him anyway?" And then I'm forced to say something sappy but very, very true, which is I married him because he was (still is) the most honest man I knew. I married him for his character.

Now, anyone who knew me then must think I'm lying because I am not proud of how I was living at the time. I have repented for much of what I did. However, this one shining moment of recognizing what I wanted in a man I would call my husband stands out for me clearly in my memory and it brings to mind much of what I'm learning about having faith.

Having faith in something or someone is, in its very essence, a spiritual act. It is placing your self in something or someone else. There's a story that circulated on Facebook recently about how a little girl and her father came upon a rickety bridge they were about to cross. The father said to his daughter, "Hold my hand." She said, "No. You hold my hand, daddy. Because if something happens, I might let go of you but I know you will never let go of me." That girl is exercising faith. Faith in someone. 

Daily, it is this kind of faith I seek. Daily, I am reminded of how far short I fall of it. Just yesterday for instance my Bible reading was about the Israelites coming to the Jordan river and Moses sending twelve men of the twelve tribes to go scout out the territory of the land God had promised to give them. They come back with a bad report. They look at the people there and are terrified. Instead of placing their faith in God's character, they place it in their present circumstances. They lose focus.

Last week, my husband talked about complimenting someone at work. Now, don't get me wrong. I have no problem if the "someone" he compliments is a man. But it was a woman. And wheels began to turn in my head. I was about to get seriously upset about it when he said, "Sweetie, why did you marry me?" He wasn't playing the game this time and he wasn't teasing. He was saying, "What do you know about me? What is my character?" I had to laugh. My irritation evaporated. I was at peace.

And then another thought came to me. God often asks me the same thing my husband articulated. He is often asking, "What do you know about Me? What is My character?" Isn't that why I read the Bible? To learn more about His character? I really, really must take time to remember, to reflect; I need to take time to answer Him. Because this is exercising faith. This is turning to Him and saying, "No, You hold my hand, because I know You."