Self-pity, anyone?

My Macbook is broken and needs to be fixed. It's going to cost $280. You would think my world is coming to an end.

What is it in me that marches in lock step with the demon of self-pity?

I told my husband, "At least I'm aware of it and I'm aware that these feelings I have are not real." He says, "So a homocidal maniac knows he's a homocidal maniac. Hmm." Wish I thought that was funny. But at least it's honest. Argh.

I have spent much of the day going back and forth about keeping the old one for watching Hulu and Netflix (it works when attached to an external screen because it works fine but the backlight is out so you can't see the screen.) and buying one for my own personal use or just getting it fixed and keeping things as they are. My impulsive decisions in the past have usually been mistakes and so I want to wait to decide either way. I have prayed and failed to control my thoughts, prayed and failed. Over and over and over.

The answer I have received is to wait. If only it wasn't so hard.

At least I remembered to pray first.

For tonight, I think, that little change is going to have to be enough.