At this point with #4 I went into survival mode: pulled a comfy chair into the bedroom, put my feet up and nursed/snuggled all night and stopped trying to get him to sleep alone. No crying baby, I got more sleep (he got more sleep) and felt not so isolated from my husband. I wish I would have thought of it earlier.
Don't worry about creating a bad habit, he's still so little.
4 out of my 5 were normal sleepers by the time they were 2. The one who wasn't was #4...he just needed more from me and I gave it.
My "comeback" to people who disagreed with my approach (extended nursing, co sleeping...) was "I'm sure he'll stop by the time he's 18"
And guess what? They all did. No one even came close...
You're so right, it's just a season. And it will pass.
He's actually become pretty good about sleeping by himself in the bassinet now. Trick was a warm blanket - it's cold lately and winter is just beginning!
This was written on a difficult night when one woke up after another all night long. :( Bombie is learning, though. The situation with my dad being here isn't helping but he'll be gone soon enough and we'll be back to effective parenting!
I also have immense respect for women who can breastfeed a second (or third or fourth!) baby. I gave up on that this time around. The engorgement and the time it took with my 16 month old running around was just too much for me.
Good for you for telling the people with unsolicited advice off. We do what works and we do our best for our kids. Some people need to just butt out and shut up!
I was not successful in breastfeeding my first, so was militantly vigilant with #2.
I remember nights (my first 2 were 15 months apart) like you described...where one would wake up just after the other...I would lay on the floor of their room and just cry (with them).
I'll admit the first year was very hard, but I made it! It makes everything else in life seem easier!
Hug those babies! January 4th is coming soon! Kari
Hey Kari, thanks for the comment. I have two girls and we cobedded with both of them. My 6 year old doesn't sleep with us anymore although if we had a huge bed I bet she would. Our 4 year old is still struggling with this and wants to sleep with us every night. I told hubby we need this broke by the time baby number 3 comes this June! To be honest I found cobedding and breast feading allowed me to have much more sleep. Although with my first I was deligent about getting her to sleep through the night and had her doing so at 3-4 months old. She is a great sleeper and rarely wakes in the middle of the night. With my second I didn't do anything and let her wake and eat all night. She is four now and will still wake up once a night. Do you think this is temperment or early training? I am wondering if I should try with my third one to get him/her to sleep through the night as early as possible like I did with my first?
Angela, I know with my 4th is was temperament. With #5 it was early training. (Remember, I was still in survival mode) I think you can know the difference by knowing how your child faces other "challenges". #5 acclimated fairly quickly once we set boundaries.
#4 had fought battles I didn't even know existed...so I picked which ones were important for me to fight with him to keep sanity in our home.
This is how it worked for us...
He would start out in be with us, when he fell asleep, I moved him to the crib mattress we had on the floor. Sometimes many times in a night.
Eventually, he stayed on the mattress.
When he was comfortable with that, we started putting him to bed in his "new room" and when he would wake up, he'd come to sleep on the mattress which we just slid under the bed...
Eventually, he stayed in his own bed.
All children are different and some of them require more gentle measures. As moms it is our job to be able to discern and meet their needs in the way that will be most effective.
If I were you, I'd try to get your new baby to sleep alone as soon as you can. BUT, knowing when to change tactics is the sign of a Smart Mom.
Pick your battles wisely, you can't fight every one.
Kari PS Purva, didn't mead to hijack your comments...I couldn't find a email to contact Angela privately ;)
At this point with #4 I went into survival mode: pulled a comfy chair into the bedroom, put my feet up and nursed/snuggled all night and stopped trying to get him to sleep alone. No crying baby, I got more sleep (he got more sleep) and felt not so isolated from my husband. I wish I would have thought of it earlier.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about creating a bad habit, he's still so little.
4 out of my 5 were normal sleepers by the time they were 2. The one who wasn't was #4...he just needed more from me and I gave it.
My "comeback" to people who disagreed with my approach (extended nursing, co sleeping...) was "I'm sure he'll stop by the time he's 18"
And guess what? They all did. No one even came close...
You're so right, it's just a season. And it will pass.
Kari B
Hi Kari,
ReplyDeleteHe's actually become pretty good about sleeping by himself in the bassinet now. Trick was a warm blanket - it's cold lately and winter is just beginning!
This was written on a difficult night when one woke up after another all night long. :( Bombie is learning, though. The situation with my dad being here isn't helping but he'll be gone soon enough and we'll be back to effective parenting!
Kari,
ReplyDeleteI also have immense respect for women who can breastfeed a second (or third or fourth!) baby. I gave up on that this time around. The engorgement and the time it took with my 16 month old running around was just too much for me.
Good for you for telling the people with unsolicited advice off. We do what works and we do our best for our kids. Some people need to just butt out and shut up!
I was not successful in breastfeeding my first, so was militantly vigilant with #2.
ReplyDeleteI remember nights (my first 2 were 15 months apart) like you described...where one would wake up just after the other...I would lay on the floor of their room and just cry (with them).
I'll admit the first year was very hard, but I made it! It makes everything else in life seem easier!
Hug those babies! January 4th is coming soon!
Kari
Hey Kari, thanks for the comment. I have two girls and we cobedded with both of them. My 6 year old doesn't sleep with us anymore although if we had a huge bed I bet she would. Our 4 year old is still struggling with this and wants to sleep with us every night. I told hubby we need this broke by the time baby number 3 comes this June! To be honest I found cobedding and breast feading allowed me to have much more sleep. Although with my first I was deligent about getting her to sleep through the night and had her doing so at 3-4 months old. She is a great sleeper and rarely wakes in the middle of the night. With my second I didn't do anything and let her wake and eat all night. She is four now and will still wake up once a night. Do you think this is temperment or early training? I am wondering if I should try with my third one to get him/her to sleep through the night as early as possible like I did with my first?
ReplyDeleteAngela, I know with my 4th is was temperament. With #5 it was early training. (Remember, I was still in survival mode) I think you can know the difference by knowing how your child faces other "challenges". #5 acclimated fairly quickly once we set boundaries.
ReplyDelete#4 had fought battles I didn't even know existed...so I picked which ones were important for me to fight with him to keep sanity in our home.
This is how it worked for us...
He would start out in be with us, when he fell asleep, I moved him to the crib mattress we had on the floor. Sometimes many times in a night.
Eventually, he stayed on the mattress.
When he was comfortable with that, we started putting him to bed in his "new room" and when he would wake up, he'd come to sleep on the mattress which we just slid under the bed...
Eventually, he stayed in his own bed.
All children are different and some of them require more gentle measures. As moms it is our job to be able to discern and meet their needs in the way that will be most effective.
If I were you, I'd try to get your new baby to sleep alone as soon as you can. BUT, knowing when to change tactics is the sign of a Smart Mom.
Pick your battles wisely, you can't fight every one.
Kari
PS Purva, didn't mead to hijack your comments...I couldn't find a email to contact Angela privately ;)
Kari,
ReplyDeleteI love that two of my friends are talking on my blog. What better use of it? :)