I'm Singing the Blues...

Well, not exactly "singing" but I've had a touch of the baby blues. I always thought I knew what to expect but this time it hit me with no knowing. As it turns out, I went to Kaiser for Hucksley's two week appointment after picking a huge fight with James and his mother for a bed (mattress) that I saw as an extravagant purchase. I should have known better. When I couldn't check email that morning without crying I should have canceled. But I thought getting out would feel good. Ugh.

This is how it happened. I was a nervous wreck already about taking TWO kids out. I knew I could handle one, no idea what to do with two. What if one flipped out, etc. So I'm already crazy to begin with, then there's NO PARKING to be seen for miles in that stupid parking lot. So I drive around until I see a spot and take it. To top that the double stroller won't hold the infant seat, so I'm wondering what the heck to do with the infant. Ugh. If I hadn't just had a baby I would have had the brain chemistry to figure out that I could have just left the seat and taken the infant in the back. But no. Here's what I decided I had to do: carry the car seat and make Bombie WALK to the pediatrician. All well and good so far because I carried her through the parking lot and then made her walk inside the building.

The problem really arose when we got done with the appointment and left. That's when it occurred to me that I had no idea where we had parked. So here I was with a car seat and a ten pound baby in one hand and a twenty-five pound toddler in another. Ugh. Can I say UGH again? I was left circling the parking lot like that for an hour. Talk about disorientation!!! And poor Bombie has just learned to walk so I carried her most of the way because I was terrified of the cars.

Well, we all survived of course, but that was the low point of my baby blues. I chalk it up to mainly waking up EVERY HOUR to feed the newborn so James finally moved him into another room and we all sleep better. Thank goodness.

I have realized however that I need to really examine what's going on when I can't or won't pray. When I started hearing Him and talking to Him again I know it was over. I know Christians say this all the time but God doesn't stop communicating with us or sending us love. It's just that sometimes we stop listening and accepting it. That's how I felt throughout these baby blues. I think they're over now.

Let's hope so!