Best Foods can Kiss my Beater!

I have finally, finally figured out how to make fresh homemade mayonnaise, thanks to my husband's untiring spirit and my teachable nature. The only sacrifices while he was learning and experimenting were two dozen eggs and a whole bottle of olive oil, which at the time I was pretty miffed about and honestly, should not have been. But all that is behind us now.

I have been making fresh mayo lately without a second thought. And no, it doesn't completely wear out your arm like they insist in those mean YouTube videos. The trick seems to be in the emulsion. I use two egg yolks - just the yolks. (Yes, I actually throw the egg whites away or add them to some coconut milk for a drink if I feel like it.)

So, two egg yolks, a pinch of salt and about a teaspoon of vinegar go into a mixing bowl along with about a tablespoon of olive oil. (I use olive oil because I like the taste. The mayo will have the taste of the oil you use, so choose one you like.) Then, just simply begin beating it like you would eggs while scrambling them and continue until the yolks and the oil look like they're blending. It takes a little practice to "see" the emulsion forming because the first time I made it, I didn't see it until my husband said, "There. You already have the emulsion." However, it doesn't hurt to keep whipping the eggs for a few more strokes however, so if you're not sure you see it, keep going.

When you're convinced the emulsion has formed, add another tablespoon of the oil and beat it in until all of the oil is absorbed into the emulsion. The rest of the process is pretty much a repeat of this step: keep adding the oil tablespoon by tablespoon (or teaspoon by teaspoon, if you prefer to keep the amounts small, especially in the beginning of your mayo making experience). Oh, I forgot to mention - it's perfectly fine to stop whipping while adding oil. I'm not a fan of adding oil drop by drop while whipping continuously. For one, I don't multitask well (I seriously doubt anyone does!) and I end up feeling stressed. I don't like stressing over mayo. Sitting down with a cup of olive oil and an emulsion beginning to form has something quite Old World-ish to it and appeals to me. Not sure having two hands going at the same time has the same draw.

Anyway, as you keep going, you'll notice that the emulsion gets less yellow as you add more oil and thicker. Once you're happy with the consistency and quality, stop. Or stop when the emulsion will no longer accept any more oil. Beyond this, the possibilities are endless. You can make fresh salad dressings like Thousand Island (I made something we called the Five Hundred Island the other day because a few ingredients were missing, but it was sooo good!) or you can simply add some green onion and thin it down or add some mustard and white wine for another great salad dressing. Then again, certain people have also been known just to stick their fingers in and take big licks each time they open the fridge door. Hey, I'm not naming names!