Monday, June 23, 2014

What I've Always Wanted to Say about Homeschooling (But Was Afraid To)




I am a homeschooler. And I love it. I love it in a no options, no excuses, no holds barred kind of way. I love it without reservation. I believe in it. I’m passionate about it. You should know this about me if we’re going to be friends. In my mind, there is no doubt that homeschooling is the single best option to educate children.
This is hard to say. It is unpopular. It seems to offend too many people. It’s almost as if I have to add a disclaimer each time I speak of homeschooling, lest I appear negative, bigoted and insensitive or, heaven forbid, not inclusive enough. I’m expected to pay my respects to public school teachers, listen to unsolicited advice from them in the oddest of places, (like the gym locker room!) salute the state, and whoever else is included in this village that it supposedly takes to raise my children. Don’t get me wrong. I know quite a few teachers and as far as I know they’re fine people but, if they work at a public school, they are working at an institution that is antagonistic to parental rights. Can you tell I’m not a fan of the Department of Education yet? Yes, I wholeheartedly love many wonderful families and I wouldn’t think twice before leaving my children with them but that’s only because they do it with an eye to my authority over my children and do not try to usurp it. Oh look. I’m doing it again.
Disclaimer has apparently become my middle name.
So here it is. I am a homeschooler and I (no disclaimers) love it.
When I say I love it, I don’t mean it’s easy. When I say I love it, I don’t mean only when it’s practical. When I say I love it, I don’t mean I love it every minute we’re settled around the dining table poring over worksheets and manipulatives. When I say I love it, I don’t even mean that I do it perfectly or that I never wish (or pay) for a break. When I say I love it, I don’t mean I’m going to only write about how wonderful it is and only post uplifting things. When I say I love it, I definitely don’t think it is the only way to educate my children, but let me be perfectly clear about this one thing: I do, whole-heartedly believe that it is the best way.
“But… but… but…”
I can already hear the slingshots loading.
“Surely you’re not saying you’re their best teacher? What training do you have?”
“Are they learning anything? How do you know they’re learning?”
“Oh, what? You think we who send our kids to public school aren’t Christian enough? Are you looking down on us?”
“Have you read this?”
To which I say, Yes, I am, and, I’d like to understand your idea of being qualified to teach. Yes, I can see and hear and understand, I’d like to talk to you in person about this, and finally, yes.
We’re not part of the purity culture or the patriarchy movement or the unschooling culture or whatever other "culture" you think we might fit into. We just happen to be passionate about homeschooling. I’m not necessarily raising my daughter to be a homemaker and my son to work outside the home, although that might just be how things work out. And if they do, I would be overjoyed. Because you cannot be whatever you want to be and you cannot have it all. I teach life skills depending on their interests and abilities. Right now, my daughter wants to learn to cook, change diapers, do math, read, play with babies and is able to do so. Currently, my son wants to learn to fix things, listen to stories, watch television, do dishes, play video games and do math.  So that’s what we do.
And also, for the last time, I do indeed believe it is the best way to educate because if I didn’t, if I didn’t truly, whole heartedly believe that, why in the world would I give it my all? In a world where it’s considered so very important that I do something “just for me,” why would I choose to let go of other pursuits – professional and artistic – and spend so much of my energy, my time, my emotions, my intellect and sheer will in picking a curriculum, hand-holding, controlling my temper, teaching, making my children do things they do not want to do, catechizing, explaining, exhorting, disciplining? Why indeed? Because I take God’s call to disciple my children when at home and when in the way and when we wake up and go to sleep very seriously. Why else? And I just don’t see how I can do it if they’re gone all day long in a place with twenty or thirty other children and an authority figure who is NOT their parent. There are only so many hours in the day.
Interestingly enough, even though I firmly stand on Christian ground as a homeschooler, my introduction to homeschooling began in the secular world. The first books on education I read were by John Taylor Gatto. Even as a Christian, I believe you should read them. It was only later, after I had decided to homeschool that I read the Bible and became a Christian. As a result, I have quite the unique experience of seeing from both worlds, secular and Christian, how homeschooling affords the best possible option for educating children. Why else would we do it? God forbid, if we ever had to send them to school outside the home, I would, but I wouldn’t think that it was even close to the kind of education homeschooling would afford them.
If you think this is a case of semantics, let me assure you it’s not. Where children spend most of their time matters. Who they spend most of their time with matters. The kind of education they get matters. It matters a lot. I’m tired of saying we do it for practical reasons, which could change as soon as it doesn’t work anymore or as soon as it gets difficult or as soon as we can afford a Christian school. I’m sick of disclaimers. I’m really just tired of defending my family against people who either don’t like homeschoolers or homeschooling or feel judged by my conviction that homeschooling is the ideal way to educate children. I’m tired of offering an apology for my passion; I am tired of hearing it being called an agenda. 
If I have an agenda, it is this: to raise my children in freedom, to train them in a job well done, serving in excellence, knowing God and understanding how to relate to Him, His Creation, themselves and their neighbors in His image, which is what education is, after all. So maybe I do have a homeschool agenda.(Hey, you know what? Anyone who wants to get anything done has an agenda.)
Yes, homeschooling is all it’s cracked up to be. Even on days when it sucks. Even when it’s hard. I’m not asking for permission to be in love with homeschooling any more. I’m not going to apologize for promoting it. I’m going to be unabashedly supportive of other parents who choose this option. 
I’m not going to say that it doesn’t matter what you choose. Not any more. Because it does. 
I am a homeschooler. And I love it. 

4 comments:

  1. I love this post. Thank you!

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  2. I really liked this post and agree with most of it, however, I'm curious as to what you think about those who really can't homeschool their kids. Meaning they absolutely have to work to get food on the table and have no reliable social network to watch the kids while they work so they can homeschool them when they get home. As a homeschooler and "unschooler"...whatever that means, I really feel for these kids that are being subjected to the US standard of education these days. I also feel many teachers are being just as abused by the government standards as the kids. I feel many teachers start out with the right intentions. Thoughts?

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    1. Holly, I'm with you. I don't have all the answers. I think in that situation, public school remains the only option, but it is certainly not the best one. I do too think teachers start out with the right intentions but their hands are tied. It's sad. In that case, prayer is the only recourse. Thankfully, we have an amazing and gracious God who not only hears our prayers but answers them graciously. I would urge whoever is in the situation you mentioned pray hard and look for opportunities in the unlikeliest of places as well as the more obvious ones.

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  3. Thanks for this. I'm having fun not backing down from this view as my friends respond on my page...I really appreciate this blog. I taught for 2 years and my husband teaches. I will never teach for the public education system again. I was at a small country school with 12 kids...which is oddly considered small but I think one on one with Mama is still better. If I had to go back to work surely I would get fired for not saying the pledge, letting the kids work on whatever they are interested in playing on the floor...and spending a large amount of time playing in the mud outside and making a school garden...Teaching them that antibacterial soap, fluoride, vaccinations, and Statism are all bad ideas...that dinosaurs are NOT millions of years old and co esisted with ppl...that the Earth is only thousands of years old...that the government wants us consuming agent orange they deem safe to spray on crops...I can hear the gasps and jaws of mothers everywhere dropping lol. But I don't care. Eminem had it right that we need a little controvery. We need to have conversations. I love my husband and think he is an amazing teacher but we both hate that he works for the government. If we want education out of their hands we have to take it back. Pull our kids out and say NO my kids deserve better. It is up to the parents on what our children should learn and how they should be taught. No more interference big brother. We won't stand for it any longer. We are taking education back. And that's my daily rant : )

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