I wrote about the recent crisis we're going through briefly on my other blog so I won't go into details here. Suffice it to say, my husband and I have had to both look deep within ourselves recently and our general relationship with money. I can safely say that Sunday May 31st 2009 was the worst day of my life. That was the day James and I had a serious discussion about what we were going to do to turn things around for us financially.
It was pretty damn scary.
It was also however pretty damn liberating because in a single evening I realized what was most important to me. In the midst of a crisis, everything became crystal clear. In order of importance, I ranked our family, our (and our children's) futures and then even our dearest possessions. To support those, we came up with a pretty serious plan. No frivolous spending, no "splurges," no going shopping for entertainment. I promised to keep a tight budget in the home. He promised to do whatever he could do support us with his job. (He already does everything he can, so obviously the majority of this onus was on me!)
We talked about how he was never taught about handling money responsibly by his parents and I shared how when I was born my parents were doing so much better financially that I never had to bear the burden of hard times. My brother - born more than a decade before me - saw poverty first-hand. And he still lives extremely simply. I should learn that.
"Should" has now almost become "have." After the scare of losing one's future (retirement) and one's present (this lovely, lovely home) one begins to respect it a lot more. No longer do I complain about loading dishes in the dishwasher. No longer do I complain about mopping the floors and keeping the home clean. No longer do I complain about cooking dinner. I'm just grateful things are working out for us. And I'm beginning to realize that even though my parents didn't exactly sit me down and give me the tools for managing money, they showed me how to live frugally simply by living that way themselves. Sure, they splurged every once in a while on things that mattered to them, but their everyday lives were a lesson in living simply and within their means. (Which is why, at 69 my father saves money out of the interest he receives from his investments and retired at 65. He was able to send me to study in the US with his retirement money and can travel to see his kids across the globe any time he wants!)
So I've become a coupon cutter and an expert at making dinners from scratch. I search frugal tips on the internet and turn off lights when I leave the room. I hang-dry our clothes and thank God for all I have and all I am. Tomorrow, here we come! Who knew having a baby would make me this much better as a person?
