What Makes Good Writing?

Why the seemingly philosophical question? I picked up Mary Karr's Lit from the library a few days ago for my weekend reading. I had wanted to read it for a while now and was expectantly waiting for it to be Friday so I could put the kids down for the night and read, read, read. Unfortunately, it seemed like the excitement was misplaced - I went to bed a little miffed because it all seemed like a big letdown.

It took me getting about a third of the way into the book to even begin to warm to it and, while I would like to say that she redeems herself in the end, I can't quite say that. Some parts of the book are truly poignant, heartbreaking and make me want to linger over the pages, but sadly, in the end, the book is only passable. Nothing that would make me want to grab the person next to me to say, Read this!


Now I'll admit Mary Carr is a much more accomplished writer (read "published" writer) than me, so she really should not care what I have to say and she's got a great readership following her. I also have not read her earlier works The Liar's Club or Cherry and after this memoir I don't know if I will, although readers have noted distinct voice differences, so I may venture that way, albeit with trepidation.

So, what makes good writing?

The short answer is very short: it's something I enjoy - emphasis on I. The long answer is that writers and readers have been wondering the very same thing for a long time and will probably never answer it. Nevertheless, here's my attempt.

Usually, good writing to me is writing that gets out of the way of experience of reading what's on the page. It's almost invisible. The only good metaphors are the ones that fit and don't remind me that I'm looking at the world through someone else's eyes.

When I first started writing, my husband would read my work. Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing with a degree in Fiction Writing since I seem to enjoy writing (and reading) non-fiction so much more. One of the things he mentioned was that the central character needs to do something other than write. In other words, there has to be a world somewhere in the book that is real. The main character needs to have hard edges, a body, a life outside of his mind. As a writer, this is sometimes hard to accomplish because we can only write what we know and if you've spent all your life in a college or at home or in a classroom having done little else you don't have life experience on which to base your writing. I see that as an insurmountable problem.

Also, writing about writing, unless it's adding to the plot in a meaningful way gets tiresome and self-indulgent. Ms. Karr does this in Lit so many times, I want to reach into the page and smack her. I don't care what you're reading, I want to say, just get on and tell me your story! Writing about writing weakens the author's voice and perhaps that is one thing I struggled with the most in this memoir. She is so careful not to offend her critics it seems that for all the liberal cursing employed in the book, the true bravado it takes to write about faith in God that she does begin to develop later is enveloped in the cotton wool of rationalizations. Look, I'm not really crazy, she seems to say to the unbelievers, I see your point. See, I believe you as well. Please don't stop reading. This tendency to explain too much, say too little, escape into too many worlds at once and showcase the writing instead of the experience comes across as over-thought, over-wrought and just plain tiring.

Truly good writing is brave, I think. Truly good writing leaps off the page and says, Here I am. No explanations, no one backing me up. This is the way it is. This is my truth, my reality. I am making no apologies. Here is my perspective - my story - in all its naked honesty. I revere writing like that. I devoured Augusten Burrough's Dry, a memoir that deals with alcohol addiction as well, because it made no apologies and offered few explanations, if any.

I can see how brave, good writing is hard. Just look what we did to the writers of the gospels. Look at what happened to Apostle Paul. And if we're talking about speaking courageously about faith and God, consider the earthly ministry of Jesus and how much He was reviled for what He said. Words have power. Not just because they're strung together to sound pretty or because someone else agrees with them. Although a well placed turn of phrase excites me when it's perfectly situated in a sentence, unless a writer is willing to be brave, I could care less about the beauty of his phraseology.

If you're writing non-fiction, tell me the truth. Tell it fully. Tell it bravely. And, for goodness' sakes, are publishers charging for quotation marks or are they still free?

Kathi Lipp's The Me Project - A Review

The Me Project - 21 Days to Living the Life You’ve Always Wanted
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers 
ISBN-10: 0736929665, ISBN-13: 978-0736929660
Release Date: February 1, 2011
Paperback: 224 pages, Retail: $12.99

If you have reservations about beginning Kathi Lipp’s new book The Me Project, let me tell you that you’re not alone. However, after you’re done with it, if you’re not filled with a desire to truly live the life God wants you to live – with all the gifts with which He has blessed you – then you’re going to be very lonely indeed. I, too, was apprehensive about starting because, really, I like Kathi. She has blessed my family with her earlier book The Husband Project; I was probably more terrified than her that I would not like this book. I worried that it would unwittingly follow in the ranks of “me time” and other popular culture ideals I have come to hate with a feeling bordering on vengeance.

So, let me be the first to assure you this: it’s not. Yes, that’s right. You can breathe. Whew! Okay, now that that’s out of the way…

What the book holds is so much more meaningful than platitudes about getting things right once and for all by following a five point program. As Kathi says herself,

I never want to buy (or waste time reading) another book that says, “I have done this perfectly. If you want to do it perfectly, do what I say.” Rarely, if ever, does life work out perfectly in a neat, three-point outline for the people I know who are living out the plans God has for them.

Kathi insists that “God has not made a mistake with the gifts and talents He has given specifically to us.” Our job then is to find out what to do with those gifts and talents – and the twenty-one exercises in this book (twenty-two if you count first making a list of fifty dreams) help you do just that. One step at a time. (Those of you doing The Fly Lady routine, would call these "Baby Steps.")

Personally, this book freed me from chains I didn’t even know I had around me. Kathi Lipp, with The Me Project has taken God out of the box in which we keep wanting to put Him. Her testimony through it ultimately becomes that He is big enough, capable enough, creative enough and, ultimately, patient enough to see us through. And when we do live the life He has called us to live, He feels genuine pleasure. Sometimes, I tend to forget that. I forget God is infinitely wise, unceasingly creative and eternally loving. I forget that God is not opposed to my desires. He only seeks to be glorified in them. This book reminded me of that very important detail.

The Me Project gave me the liberty to dream and desire things for myself while still placing them under the will of God. And that to me is true freedom.

Plus, as Kathi puts it, it’s just fun!

Book Summary Has that rush to make (and break) New Year’s resolutions already waned? According to Daniel Pink, author of Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, taking small steps every day will not only help you stay committed to your goal, but will also help you ultimately achieve that goal when obstacles come up. Author Kathi Lipp wants you and your friends to live out those dreams—and have some fun along the way. As women, we forget the goals and dreams of our younger years. The busyness of everyday life gets in the way. To-do lists replace goals. The Me Project provides women with fun and creative ways to bring back the sense of purpose and vitality that comes with living out the plans and dreams God has planted in our hearts. Kathi Lipp’s warm tone and laugh-out-loud humor motivates women to take daily steps toward intentional goals. The end result? We get back our lives and enjoy living in the confidence of a purposeful life in spite of our chaotic schedules.  This handy guide coaches women to do one simple thing toward achieving our goals each day for three weeks. A woman experiencing the exhilaration of a rediscovered life offers more as a wife, mother, friend, volunteer, career woman. Finding the balance between living day-to-day with purpose while pursuing the passions God has placed in our hearts is a delicate pursuit. In this refreshing, insightful book, Kathi lays out a doable plan that makes sense and helps make our God-given dreams a reality. Never stop dreaming, because women who dare to dream do make the world a better place.  —Jean Blackmer     author of MomSense: A Common Sense Guide to Confident Mothering      Publishing Manager, MOPS International www.MOPS.org Author Bio

Kathi Lipp Kathi Lipp is a busy conference and retreat speaker, currently speaking each year to thousands of women throughout the United States. She is the author of The Husband Project and The Marriage Project, serves as food writer for Nickelodeon, and has had articles published in several magazines, including Today’s Christian Woman and Discipleship Journal. Kathi and her husband, Roger, live in California and are the parents of four teenagers and young adults. For more information visit her website: www.kathilipp.com

Kick Start Living Your Dream

Earth Mother

As the smell of freshly baked bread fills my home and I sit here with my cup of decaf coffee, completely at peace with how my life is unfolding, I wonder how I fell so easily into domesticity.

Since I have been a wee little one, I have always wanted to teach and write. Odd how sometimes we take the playful desires of a child and turn them into careers. That's what happened to me, I think. As soon as my mother saw me play "teacher," she began to prod me in that direction. I was only too happy to go along because I enjoyed the subject matter but if you had asked me if that's what I wanted to dedicate my life to, I would have shrunk and said, no. I want a husband who is happy to come home to me and children that drive me crazy all day. 

I know I do it, too. Oh, Bombie likes to read, maybe she'll be a librarian. Okay, so you know I'm kidding but only slightly. Why the push to concretize and harden what is pliable, beautiful and God-given in our children? 

I enjoy teaching, learning, research, reading, study - and my passion is translating that into something tangible that can be grasped by someone else. A moment captured, however fleeting, an insight shared, wholly untouched by anything extraneous, gives me a deep sense of joy. I cannot explain it any other way. 

And maybe that's why I am enjoying domesticity. Freshly baked bread tells my husband something about how my day has been. Putting away laundry with the children playing by my feet or having them do chores speaks about a life truly shared on a moment by moment, ordinary level. All the minutiae of keeping a home and blessing it with my presence and my undivided heart all day long is to me the very root of what a family is. It is giving myself, my deepest, best, most precious self - in its entirety - to them. 

I have no desire to go back to work, to sow hours which others can reap and hand weary leftovers to my family. After years of searching, I am truly home. 

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder...

On St. Valentine's Day this year, I'm grappling with decisions about schooling the children. I really should say "we" are but James agrees that for the most part, I'll be making the day to day decisions. He simply feels strongly about the children not going to public school. Ever. As someone recently said, "Mom is the teacher and Dad is the principal." We might just stick to that adage around here. 

My mind, though, is also dwelling on how often man does put asunder what God has joined together. St. Valentine, as we all know now, was a priest who got couples married even when there was a national ban on marriage when King Claudius hoped to get more men to fight his wars in ancient Rome. For this, he was martyred. Married people don't like to be away from their spouses, well, ban marriage. 

What does this have to do with homeschooling? A lot, John Taylor Gatto would say. 

My introduction to homeschooling has been different from the typical path. For whatever reason, I was drawn to it when the idea first entered my head when we left Pollock Pines. I was still pregnant with Hucksley and Bombie was one. Then I was picking up books at the local library when a homeschooling mom stopped to chat with me because she saw the books I was buying. She had her totally unselfconscious and confident children with her. She encouraged me to read Gatto and join an un-schooling network.

I hadn't the faintest idea what I was getting into.

Here we are about a year and a half later and I'm now trying to decide between charter schools or "pure" homeschool. Some places go as far as to say that if you're using a charter, you're not homeschooling, you're doing "independent study." I'm beginning to lean that way as well. Something inside me completely revolts at the idea of someone from a government agency walking into my house and "letting me" buy only what is according to certain guidelines. While the money is nice to be able to buy curricula, if I can't teach my children anything Christian unless it's "over and above" their usual coursework, then what's the point? 

I also read while browsing various Charter School websites that the education specialist / teacher / state representative stops by to give you your ordered material and talk to your children about what they're being taught. I know, I know. I'm sure it's done in a completely non-threatening way and the representative is not personally the mean guy, so to speak, but the very idea of it gives me a visceral reaction. 

So, I guess it makes me one of the others. 

The truth is, my husband and I is very much aware of man putting asunder what God has joined together on every level - marriage for one and education for another. I read in a great article in a homeschooling magazine yesterday that the first family of Adam, Eve and God is the true model for education of children. That is how education was to be imparted. From the parents to the children. I had a reverence for my teachers that rivaled my reverence for my parents. Guess who won out in the end? By the time I was a teenager, what my parents said didn't matter a whit. Maybe if I had been home schooled, the story would have been different. 

So we're going to do it. We're going to step out in faith and really, truly do it. We're going to homeschool. The Christian way. The way God intended. 

I can't wait!

Yes, I Bribe my Children...

You know that stage when the youngest one can't walk yet (or can't walk well) and you have to carry him everywhere and then the older one wants to be carried too? So that you don your best apologetic look and shrug your shoulders and carry them in and out of the gym and wait, just wait for someone to say, "Well, it's a good thing mommy works out, huh?" Sigh... well, THAT stage has lasted in our home a little too long and I'm ready to get shoes on Hucksley so he can walk already!

However, ingenious mother that I am (haha...) I managed to snag a few cookies today from our breakfast table and saved them to give to Bombie when she got out of MOPS for the walk to the car. Ahhh. What a wonderful little walk we had back to the car. No fussing. No crying. No issues. No dramas.

There is a time for discipline, but there's also a time to just let them be kids. Now if only I could tell the difference every time.